“You’re my soul mate.” Researchers from the University of Toronto published a study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, revealed that those who often say this phrase to their partners and, worse, those who believe it, could be in serious trouble in their relationship.
Norbert Schwarz and W. S. Spike Lee wanted to test if it was better to say things like your partner is your “other half” and your “soulmate?” Or would you be better off thinking about love as a “journey” and being proud of “how far you’ve come?”
“When people think of their relationship in terms of ‘unity’ which were ‘made for each other’- it makes them more vulnerable when a conflict occur. This conflict would indicate that perhaps they were not really made for each other,” Schwarz told to the Huffington Post.
Instead, he praised those couples who saw their relationship as a journey, completely changing the perspective of how a fight is between the two of them.
“(They think) that this is a good thing; that they were arguing and still, they are together. They could overcome the difficulties of the past and therefore have many opportunities to overcome what will come in the future,” said Schwarz.
The most healthy relationships are all about perspective. As hard as it may be, try not to romanticize your relationship with your partner. According to the study’s conclusion, you will be less satisfied in your relationship.
“That perspective that they are made for each other and that everything will be wonderful from now on, might be directing them to a big disappointment,” said Schwarz.” They did not always agree and not always is wonderful, but probably it will be worth going through that.”