Dating in your twenties is a phenomenon that is understood by few. You date guy after guy and although you think you have control over your heart, you usually have zero control over the one guy your heart and body are most attracted to. Sometimes, you end up falling for the guy who doesn’t treat you the way you should be treated, the one who is not readily available to give you what it is you want out of a relationship. What is it about bad boys that makes them so bad?
According to research reported in Psychology Today, more men than women possess the Dark Triad personality trait, which includes narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism. This narcissism is the reason why “a willingness and ability to compete with one’s own sex, and to repel mates shortly after intercourse.” It’s this psychopathic personality trait that makes for their irresistible charm, and complete and utter lack of empathy or remorse after a failed relationship or hurtful one-night stand. And it’s this Machiavellianism that makes them such damn good manipulators.
So, why is that so many good women pick bad men? Why are some women attracted to the guys who hurt them the most, and why do they find them so irresistible? To answer these questions, Gregory Louis Carter of the University of Durham conducted a study that involved the investigation of 128 female undergraduates. What he found was that there are two types of men: One with the Dark Triad personality traits, and the other, a control group, Carter found that the women found the Dark Triad personality more attractive than the control. In fact, research has also proven that men with this personality trait are more sexually successful than those men who don’t.
According to Carter, it may be a product of sexual selection, which means that because most men possess the Dark Triad, women are inherently attracted to it for mating reasons. There’s also the thrill of it—it’s like the adrenaline rush you get when you know you’re doing something you shouldn’t be doing. Some women also think that they can be the “it girl,” or rather, the one who can change the guy and make him good.
The good news is that women demonstrate an attraction to men with darker personalities, typically for the short-term. In short, it’s okay to fall for the bad guy once, maybe twice in your life (hey, you’re only human), but if you find yourself only falling in love with men who are neglectful or even emotionally abusive, than maybe it’s time to do something about it and give your heart a pep talk.