We all know that dating is no easy fete. In fact, making the time to go out with someone and trying to build a connection with them while determining how they fit into your life is a daunting task. But before you even get to that point you have to MEET said person. And where the hell can you meet someone worth dating nowadays? I turned to my Facebook friends for insight on where some of them have met their mates. Come to find out a lot have met over social media sites NOT dating sites! So I picked their brains a little to see how their social media mating savvy can translate to dating success on my end.
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Twitter is a great place for debate random updates. I can also honestly say that a few of my closest friends would never have been in my life had it not been for this microblogging site. However even though I’ve met some of my tweeps IRL, I’ve never dated any of them. I do have two very close friends who met over an entertainment related discussion on Twitter and where after a few months of virtual friendship he asked her out. The rest as they say is history as they have been happily married for two years now. Apparently, the secret to hitting on someone via Twitter and not coming across as a total loon is 1) make sure they’re not a celebrity or gossip site and 2) share some back and forth banter for at least a few weeks before hitting them up with a direct message requesting the digits. That last part is critical I strongly advise against detailing your wedding plans via direct message to someone who has never even responded to your tweets.
The consensus with Facebook is that groups seem to be the best way of connecting with someone you don’t really know. You already share a mutual interest after all. Whatever group it is you’re in a few likes and comments between the two of you can lead to something more significant. One friend of mine detailed how she met her now husband over one of those (annoying) Facebook games in which you request people in order to gain points. He lived in the UK she in the US but it was an apparent love connection so strong that he crossed the pond to be with her. (I can’t get a guy to cross state lines for me let alone an enormous body of water! The closest I’ve gotten to finding love on Facebook was a message I received from a very attractive lesbian in France). The moral of the story? Try to establish a common interest before reaching out to a stranger on Facebook…unless you’re a hot French blonde. Then you can do whatever you want.
Instagram can spell trouble in my opinion; all you do is like and comment on photos that are highly filtered or don’t truly represent a person’s life. It’s almost like a highlight reel of that person’s daily happenings and most of the time those highlights suck because quite frankly your incessant selfies do nothing more than make you look desperate for attention. Some people, do however, have interesting feeds where it’s evident that their interests expand beyond whether or not they woke up like this. If you find one of those I think it’s perfectly ok to send a respectful direct message (with a benign photo not something sexual) and offer to meet up for a drink. That’s what I did…granted, I’m still waiting on the guy to call me. Any day now…any day.
Personally, I think that social media is a better source for making a real connection with someone rather than Tinder, OK Cupid, or other dating apps. The reason being, if you can already establish common interests with someone then transitioning to real life conversations or meetings tends to be less awkward than a full on blind online date scenario. It’s sort of a high risk high reward scenario however, because you can’t hide behind the quasi-anonymity of “we’re all here trying to find someone to hook up with or date so if you don’t like me who cares, I’ll move on to the next.” Sure, you can go on more dates with the help of a dating app or service but it’s my opinion that a date procured from social media has the potential to be more meaningful from the start.