Let’s face it: Heartache does not discriminate. Not by gender, not by race, and most certainly not by age. Even the happiest of relationships experience some sort of unexpected bumps in the road that are sure to elicit a negative emotional response from one, if not both parties. Self preservation is a natural human instinct, so why is it that some of us remain optimistic even after what seems to be a never ending deluge of being let down? What can I say? Love and the pursuit of it is counterintuitive. But, being aware of that, I guess it’s time that I come to terms with the one thing that I’ve been afraid to admit to myself my entire life: My name is Vianessa, and I am in love with the idea of love.
Allow me share three lessons that I’ve learned from my past relationship experiences that have allowed me to remain hopeful and optimistic.
Ver más: Dear Eme: Does My Boyfriend Love Me?
Don’t bring your past issues into your new relationship.
Baggage: We all have it, but some more than others. Hell, I have been through so much drama and crap in my time that it’s a miracle that I’m not institutionalized. That’s not an exaggeration (perhaps one day I’ll go into the toxic details of my past relationships, but this is not the day). One thing I’ve gotten good at is, even though I remain cautious in certain situations, I try my damn hardest to not judge a potential new mate by the mistakes of a past one. After all, you’re innocent until proven guilty, right?
Keep an open mind.
Do you have a type? Don’t. Get rid of that notion. The only type you should be concerned with is the type that treats you with the respect that you deserve. Of course, you need to be attracted to the person, but attraction comes in many forms. Also, things such as being from a different background or upbringing can present some interesting opportunities. So, take a chance with that mid-western farm boy. You may or may not regret it, but there’s only one way to find out.
Read the signs and know when to let it go.
Nothing feels quite as nice as having someone doting over you. The attention and affection you receive from a partner can be addictive and blinding. Sometimes, we get so caught up in the moment that we start to make excuses for other poor behavior or start letting things slide that are red flags. If your mate isn’t treating you with respect, playing games, or not appreciating you for who you are, then it’s time to call it quits. They will either have to get their stuff together and come back around, or they will take their less than worthy ways to someone else. Either way, you’ll be better off because you will allow yourself to be open to what you deserve.