A modern fairy tale unfolds every minute—at parties and gatherings all across the country Tinderella finds her one-night Prince Charming and they live happily never after. The problem is Tinderella wasn’t in any of the stories I was told as a child. I grew up naively thinking the right man would woo me and come along to sweep me off my feet at precisely the moment I realized I’d kissed one too many frogs.
Instead I ended up in world where “DTF?” counts as a valid way to approach someone via text message. I have to say my first time being solicited by acronym was interesting and followed shortly thereafter by my first time being solicited by emojis! This was impressive and commonly referred to amongst my friends as the sandwich equation. Specifically: bread + eggplant + anti sign + bread = a midnight snack. As flattered as I was by this very special sandwich offer I had to wonder is this really all there is?
Whatever happened to dinner and a movie? Are we past the point when twenty-something men are capable of courtship? I’m constantly seeing videos about the world’s greatest proposals but where are these elusive creatures that actually go to such lengths for a girl. Nowhere that I see and that’s a shame. You’d think given the success rate more men would opt to go the old fashioned way.
I recognize that the hookup culture is a thing but there’s a better way to go about this. I would be so much more receptive to someone who: a) kept their private parts private and far away my inbox; b) didn’t volunteer to touch me unless I asked; and c) took the time to actually talk to me. I hate being invited to loud settings or group outings where there’s no chance to actually get to know a person. That’s not a date! Not even if you’re going VIP and buying bottles.
This may seem a little out there but might I suggest complimenting a girl instead asking her about her interests and striking up a conversation? I recognize that physical attraction is the first thing people see and chemistry is important. But if you’re only worried about what a girl looks like naked they don’t feel all that special to have been selected and at the end of the day all women want to feel special.
A real courtship involves appreciating a woman for her mind as well as her body. Invite her to a private setting where you can get to know one another. Respect that she’s busy and ask her with time not two hours before you want to meet up. I’m all for spontaneity but save that for when you know someone and have established a rapport. When a guy I’ve just met texts at 11pm on a Saturday night that signals to me that he’s called others before me presumes I’m doing nothing on a Saturday night and thinks I’m open to a booty call. Again flattered.
The old-fashioned way takes some work and most guys may not be willing to put in that effort for just anyone. I get that. I understand that a guy on a mission to get laid is trying to do just that with whatever girl decides to acquiesce his requests. That is fine and dandy just please don’t expect that girl to be me.
Because as far as I’m concerned there’s one true and tried way to go about pursuing someone. A pre-arranged meeting set well in advance where two people eat food share good company and enjoy an evening getting to know each other. There may be a kiss involved at the end there may not and the pair might even arrange to see each other again in the near future. It’s an oldie but a goodie and a formula I suggest men out there start using over the sandwich equation.