When you experience a feeling of unease that becomes painful with a mixture of fear of losing the person you love’s attention to someone else, you channel it with anger. Often times, this overbearing jealousy comes across to you your partner as insecurity and distrust and can drive them away. Here’s guide to help you identify your level of jealousy, overcome it, and be happier with your partner.
Is jealousy a disease?
No. Jealousy is a symptom rather than a disease. The so-called delusions of jealousy is a pathological form of arising without apparent external motivation and persists even though the evidence and facts do not prove infidelity. Delusional jealousy, in these cases, becomes the dominant symptom of all the emotional life of the person.
Wanting to be in control of your partner’s every move. Wanting to know where he is, what he’s doing, or who he’s with every second of the day is detrimental to both you and your partner, and your relationship. It’s okay to let him miss you. One call a day to ask how he’s doing and how his day was is usually enough.
Depriving him from developing as his own person. In a relationship, it’s important to give each other space for personal development and growth, whether it be vocational, personal, or spiritual. You must learn to trust your partner and especially yourself. Checking his phone or computer to spy on him is an outright violation of liberty and privacy. Wanting to oversee everything your partner is doing and constantly looking for proof of infidelity will not solve anything. Instead, learn how to relax and trust your partner. Remember that if he’s with you, it’s because he wants to.
Negative thoughts. All they do is destroy a relationship. When one or both partners in a marriage are jealous, many situations that lead to relationship crisis arise. When you feel that the situation has gotten out of control, it’s best to seek professional and spiritual guidance.
How to overcome jealousy?
If jealousy is causing you problems, these tips will help you face and overcome the situation:
1. Change roles. Put yourself in your partners shoes.
2. Speak. Do not be afraid to say when you have a bad feeling about someone or something.
3. Take part in activities by yourself.
4. Work on your self esteem.
5. Do not confuse business with pleasure. Especially try to speak of other things that are not work-related.
6. Listen. Instead of spending all night pointing to your partner and making accusations, try to be more present.